Gaumite guano
May 4, 2008 by John Rich
A concerned nation can breathe again. Obama has won Guam by 7 votes. Pop the corks on that champaign; the Dread Ice Queen has been soundly defeated. Or, more properly, “Who gives a fuzzy white rat’s ass?”
I believe it would be proper to call citizens of Guam “Guamites.” But here’s a better question for the class: why is there a primary or caucus in Guam in the first place?
Citizens of Guam are not U.S. citizens except in the most technical of senses. What’s important is that they don’t vote in our elections. Period. Why not hold a primary in Indonesia (Obama wins in a landslide; the madrassa crowd goes wild…) or China (Clinton wins and pockets uncounted and secret millions from guys named Hsu…)?
Seriously, what could the pretext be for having foreigners (the Guamites, or whatever they’re called) help determine who a major party nominee is going to be? This is just plain nuts.
Somebody in the DNC should go all Pat Buchanan* on whoever thought up this nonsense.
*Pat “America First” Buchanan, that is; a/k/a Pitchfork Pat
Actually, to get technical, they are American citizens. The only remaining US non-citizen nationals are from American Samoa. (Where the Dems also had a caucus in Feb and HRC won.)
The Democrats are strange birds with their primary system. They also had a “Democrats Abroad” primary, for 4.5 delegate votes. (Republicans, by contrast, vote from abroad using their last US address, just like in the fall.)
Silly system. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving party. :p
Ben, thanks. Correction made. Snarkily, of course…