Every so often, we are told that soccer will be the next big thing in sports here in the United States. I’ve been hearing this for forty years or so. Perhaps my parents and grandparents heard it, as well, but simply ignored it as the ravings of those entranced with the most boring team sport in creation.
Soccer can be fun to play, and requires great athletic skill. But to watch it, without having a brother in the match, or betting your life savings on the outcome, is worse than watching paint dry.
Evidence? This matchup between Sweden and a “country” whose name I always confuse with this product:
And that’s “draw” as in zip to zip. No scoring. Bupkus. Nada. By either side.
I trust they handed out pillows prior to this match, and ensured that no fans had sharp objects — a fella could get hurt falling asleep and having his head fall onto a knife or scissors.