Archie: What’s the matter with this? I call this representative government. You’ve got Salvatori, Feldman, O’Reilly, Nelson–that’s an Italian, a Jew, an Irishman and a regular American there. That’s what I call a balanced ticket.
Meathead: Why do you always have to label people by nationality?
Archie: ‘Cause, how else are you going to get the right man for the right job? For instance, take Feldman there. He’s up for treasurer. Well, that’s perfect. All them people know how to handle money. Know what I mean?
Meathead: No, I don’t.
Archie: Well, then you got Salvatori running for D.A. He can keep an eye on Feldman. You know, I want to tell you something about the Italians. When you do get an honest one, you really got something there.
Meathead: Aw, c’mon, Arch.
Archie: Well, then here you got O’Reilly, the mick. He can see that the graft is equally spread around, you know. You got Nelson, the American guy. He’s good for TV appearances, to make the rest of them look respectable.
This might also be called the Barack Obama-Sonia Sotomayor philosophy of jurisprudence: It’s the group you’re born into that is your single most important attribute. Back then, in the early 1970s, liberals like Meathead were aghast at Archie’s kind of prejudice. Now it’s the Left that’s become Archie…