Imagine

To recount the bidding in the GOP field (in no particular order):

  • Newt Gingrich practices self-destruction
  • Mike Huckabee decides he’d rather be rich and popular than president
  • The Donald ends his birther bufoonery
  • Mitch Daniels, notional green eye-shade saviour, drops out, citing marriage…difficulties
  • Jon Huntsman, who wants to play for both sides, is in. Great hair, though.
  • Haley Barbour drops out, sensing that someone who sounds like Foghorn Leghorn might, just might, be painted as a bigot by the pro-Obama slavering media
  • Tim Pawlenty, Herman Cain, and some nutcase who wants to legalize heroin are in
  • Michelle Bachmann, also from Minnesota, is poised to kill T-Paw’s faint chances in the Iowa caucuses.

And so it goes. Where is our savior, who will ride in on his white charger (that’s not racist; black horses were not held in bondage any more than white ones) to save us?

David Kahane knows. He’s always entertaining, even if you’re never quite sure where his snark ends and pure fantasy begins. The realignment of the GOP ticket over the past few days gives new life to his piece from May 11: The GOP Stupids Step Out. All in good fun, mind you. Here’s the money quotation:

Still, can you imagine a Christie/Allen West ticket — two cans of whup-ass in a one-can cubicle.

That’s New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, and Representative Allen West (R-FL 22CD).

Both men are impressive when they speak. Both men know what they’re talking about, and tend to shut up when they don’t. Both men have little tolerance for radical, pie-in-the-sky solutions to real-world problems. Could such a ticket win? Yes. Could such a ticket get the nomination? Not likely. We Republicans tend to like nice, safe candidates. With good hair.

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